Almost one year ago I married my darling husband. He is my very best friend and I could not be more lucky to have him. Michael and I can honestly say that the first year of marriage has been easy for us. We love it! Before getting married we often heard that the first year of marriage is the hardest. That is just really hard to for me to believe after living it. Living in Rexburg was hard for me.. but the being married part is cheesecake :)
I'm not really quite sure why this happens but we both get asked fairly often about relationship advice. So I thought I'd share some of our secrets for anyone who may be interested.
First of all, I am so lucky to be married to Michael. He is ridiculously positive and happy ALL the time. He is always selfless, he works hard and he never complains. He truly cares about my feelings and would do anything to make me happy. So.. find a guy like that to marry and then the desire to be a happy married couple becomes a reality every day without having to work to hard :)
Secret 1: Communicate. About everything.
Here is an example.. Girl wants flowers for Valentines day, boy doesn't care for gifts so he doesn't think about it. Valentines day rolls around and girl is sad that there are no flowers. The whole day girl has hurt feelings. Because she is a girl she doesn't want to tell boy why her feelings are hurt. So boy tries to figure out why she is upset, and fails. And the couple has an awful
Valentines day.
OR
Girl says "boy, its important to me that you give me flowers on Valentines day." Boy thinks.. wow, I am glad she said that because otherwise I would not have thought of that. Boy gets girl flowers, girl is happy. Happy Valentines day.
Now, lets say girl didn't tell him he wanted flowers and there is no flowers and her feelings are hurt but she doesn't want to talk about it because it sounds stupid and she is emotional over it. Suck it up and tell him. Cry and feel stupid if you have to. It really doesn't matter because he will still love you. And then he can explain that he didn't know that you wanted flowers! You feel better, you go buy flowers together.. Happy Valentines day.
simple right?
one more example, boy doesn't like it when girl says the word crap. Boy says "please don't say that word I don't like it." Girl says "forget you I love that word." Boy is hut that she isn't considerate of his feelings. In return, he becomes inconsiderate about her feelings. And because of that one small thing, more and more feelings are hurt until it builds us and they feel unhappy with eachother way to often.
OR
Girl loves him enough to stop saying it. Boy appreciates it and gives her lots of kisses. Couple is happy.
Which brings me to my next secret..
Secret 2: This may not be the case for every couple.. but physical touch is one of our strongest love languages. So we hold hands whenever possible, we cuddle in our sleep, and we kiss.. Even if people tell us we're gross.
Secret 3: We treat each other well in private & in public.We are often made fun of for the way we talk to each other & for the way we treat each other . I don't really understand why its a problem for us to be kind to each other in front of other people.. but I guess some people get annoyed by it. Ignore them. Your spouse is more important. So bring your wife a drink of water for no reason other then you think she might want some.. And wife, say "thank you sweetheart! that was so sweet and thoughtful of you!" no matter how much everyone around may cringe or make fun of you. Its worth it to make your spouse happy.
Secret 4: We say "I love you" over and over all day long.
Secret 5: Never talk bad about your spouse, to anyone.
Secret 6: appreciate one another. Always tell your spouse how much he/she means to you. Always notices the small and simple things he/she does for you, and thank them.
I could keep going for a long time.. but 7 is my favorite number so I'll stop at 7..
Secret 7: We have a sign hanging in our kitchen with a popular primary song lyric on it.
We live by it.
By the way, this was given to us a year ago at our reception. And this gift, like several other gifts was separated from its card.. I have no idea who gave this to us. So if whoever gave it to us happens to be reading this, THANK YOU!!!! I love it :)
Having love in the home welcomes the spirit. You want the spirit in your home! I don't believe in yelling. I don't think love can be expressed through anger. David O. McKay once said "let the husband and wife never speak in loud tones to each other, unless the house is on fire."
I LOVE THAT! Why yell? Nothing good comes from yelling. Going back to secret number one.. any problem can be solved with communication. Disagreements aren't an excuse to fight.
One more popular song lyric..
As I have loved you, love one another.
It really is that simple.
I feel so lucky to have Michael, I truly want everyone to feel the happiness that I have felt over the last year. Marriage is such a blessing :) I am so thankful that we are sealed for eternity. Its the best feeling ever.
I have been looking at our lovely wedding photos today and reminiscing.. so of course I will throw a few on here :)
By the way.. I adore our wedding photographer.
Here is the link to his website in case your interested
http://www.izlas.com/
I have been looking at our lovely wedding photos today and reminiscing.. so of course I will throw a few on here :)
By the way.. I adore our wedding photographer.
Here is the link to his website in case your interested
http://www.izlas.com/
Happy conference weekend everyone!! :)
